My Child Can't Perform in Competition

Tennis Parent:

About 18 months ago, our son decided that he wanted to focus his sporting attention on becoming a tennis champion. He is determined when trying to achieve something. During coaching sessions, he listens attentively, picks up what the coach is telling him, and is able to put it into action quite quickly, in general. The problem is that he is unable to take his game into match situations. I believe that his perfectionist aspect is affecting his game head. He thinks that if he is doing the technique correctly everything should be fine. How do we get him to relax during the game, play and not worry about the errors? It is part of the game. If affects his game. I feel that if he relaxed a bit he could then come out of his shell. He is never going to be champion at any level if his game head does not improve.

Expert’s Response:

I do not think the solution is to help him relax, but I understand why you would say this. I'm sure he gets upset after making mistakes and it looks like he is too keyed up. This is a common issue that we see with young athletes. Many perfectionist athletes become too fixated on technique. They have very high expectations, become easily frustrated when not performing up to their expectations, and often are afraid of failing. They think trying to be perfect is the best way to become a champion--but it's not.

Begin his mental coaching by helping him manage his high expectations. These are at the root of many of his challenges. I suggest you help him identify the expectations that cause the most trouble, such as "I must be perfect with my technique to win." Next, replace these strict expectations with manageable goals (mini goals). One example: Pick appropriate targets on the serve. This is a very simple mini-goal that focused his attention on execution.

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Hi, Dr. Cohn here with The Ultimate Sports Parent. By trade, I am a sports psychology expert. My sister, Lisa Cohn and I are on a mission to help sports parents improve their kids' experience in sports. We focus on issues related to youth sports and psychology. We both have young kids in sports and are interested in helping young athletes reach their potential.

What does youth sports psychology mean? My sister is a sports parenting author and I am a mental training expert working with junior to professional athletes to improve mental skills. If you combine our expertise, you come up with a unique blend of tips and articles for sports parents aimed at helping parents improve confidence and success in young athletes.

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Thanks,

Dr. Patrick Cohn
Youth Sports Psychology Expert
www.youthsportspsychology.com